(seen at the afternoon performance on 14th June 2025)
Biddy Baxter, long-time editor of famous British BBC children’s TV programme “Blue Peter” often repeated the story that when commercial television launched an inferior copy, “Magpie,” thousands of children wrote to her, warning her that she was being imitated, badly.
For the first 15 minutes of this, the monkey felt the same about writing to Mischief Theatre. Then it realised that it wasn’t even watching a Poundland version of their work, not a 99p store, not even a Delboy fly-pitch rip-off.
What it was seeing was something you might order online for $1 and regret for life. We are talking that imitation silk Versace that looks fine in the photo – and turns out to be a nylon doll’s dress. For example... not actual experience, of course... monkey never falls for that one... not twice, anyway...
The conceit is that Simon Slough (Josh Haberfield in a performance so oily they probably had to clean the carpets afterwards) has created a version of “The Importance of Being Earnest.” Earnest hasn’t arrived; Slough picks a genuine member of the audience as a replacement.
As other members of his troupe fall away for various unfunny and unimaginative reasons, so more members of the audience are conscripted. This does mean that the show depends on those chosen, and it will change every time.
It also means that the writing and direction must be rock-solid to make the volunteers into stars and keep the momentum going for the show to work and the rest of us to enjoy.
First and foremost, Haverfield treads a very, very fine line between amusing all and actively insulting the elderly people he gets onto the stage. The unpleasant improvisor goes far too far and destroys our confidence in the work almost from the first (boringly lengthy) casting session.
What follows is plain dull, with intermittent nastiness, one tiny flash of imagination (cue-cards held by audience members, effect destroyed using a “Two Ronnies” ‘half a word missing so it sounds rude’ technique from the 1970s) snuffed out by an excessively disgusting line - which elicits nothing from the auditorium.
Fellow actors flounder in this mess, feeling desperately for something to shape their performances and mould their civilian co-stars with.
There is a reason “audience participation” in panto season is limited – non-actors cannot cope without help for more than a few minutes, and when abandoned - as here - everything quickly becomes dull, repetitive and predictable.
The only antidote is a very strong host with respect for those they are working with. Bruce Forsyth’s “Generation Game” finals, with Bruce firmly in charge of the amateurs, offers the only route to success. This has nobody even close to the experience or intelligence ready to assist.
Ben Mann as stage manager Josh is as much a Cornley carbon copy as Simon, but seemed to break through with the audience liking him. The rest of the cast make little impression, and it is arguable that at least some may have been volunteers who stayed on from earlier in the tour.
Trynity Silk clearly had a budget in pence for the set, and spent most of it on a lottery ticket instead, hoping to get something from being involved. Costumier Libby Watson perhaps was given more than a pound, and manages to come up with at least one outfit worth wearing. The script itself was probably an own-brand "super soft" four-pack bought at a corner store.
The monkey has never been to the Edinburgh Fringe, but if this is the kind of thing which producers consider “quality” enough to launch a major tour with, it is glad it saves its bananas.
In fairness, it may work with a group of drunk young revellers in a tiny room, but on a major London stage, it is as out-of-place as a Big Mac among afternoon cucumber sandwiches.
1 star (only because the theatremonkey.com website does not permit a nil star rating).
Photo credit: Greg Veit. Used by kind permission of the Richmond Theatre press office.