(seen at the performance on 22nd November 2024)
Every year there is, by tradition, one act voted to have “stolen the show.” This year, by popular audience reaction, the outright winner was King Charles III. Returning after the interval, his reaction to our applause was a spontaneous enthusiastic waving of his event programme. The timing and choreography were spot-on, the facial expression gleeful... his favourite Goons would have been proud.
Of the booked acts, it turned out to be an interesting evening. Without a true “A List” performance (Sir Elton John alas only introduced his new musical – more of which, later), ‘star duty’ was spread evenly, events building up to an emotional rather than stellar climax.
Joint comperes Amanda Holden and Alan Carr proved intermittently accurate on the autocue and shared the quota of amusement each could find in their own spaces. Holden is at her best when “sincerity” is required – genuinely thrilled to be introducing her winning “Britain’s Got Talent” act.
Carr proved that when asked to “fill in” his “chatty man” persona is a useful asset. Far less successful in his “Snowman” sketch, at least it won Holden a tenner off musical director David Arch.
Still, both were game in the opening sequence, “Light At The End Of The Tunnel” as the cast of “Starlight Express” roller-skated past the arena seats and onto the stage. An energetic extract of the show before our unaerodynamic duo skated (propped up by members of the cast – they aired the rehearsal footage later, painful) limped on.
Encountering composer Andrew Lloyd Webber – who was gazing thoughtfully around the oval building as a possible home for “Starlight” at some point - Carr (dressed as a “rail replacement bus”) suggested his character for inclusion. A witty “I don’t do buses” from the Lord brought the house down and a round of applause from his skaters. A quip from Holden involving “Virgin Train” did likewise, but, as she sighed, “it won’t make the edit.”
Sticking with the shows, incoming “The Devil Wears Prada” and “Oliver!” proved the biggest hits of the evening.
“Prada” (introduced by Sir Elton John himself) closed act one, using the “wardrobe transformation” sequence involving the whole cast. The monkey has already seen the show and felt it worked just fine on the open stage. It was fascinated to have a seat where it could see “backstage.” What goes on while Andie (Georgie Buckland) is off-stage to update her character is a masterpiece of co-ordination in a very short time period.
Another Sir, this time Sir Cameron Mackintosh, introduced his own creation to open the second half. A medley from his latest revival of “Oliver!” will get box office tills ringing after the TV broadcast for sure. His new cast have charisma in spades and the direction is fresh and exciting.
At another of Sir C’s theatres, “The Comedy About Spies” will open next April at the Noel Coward. From the famous “Mischief Theatre Company,” another self-penned effort gave us a very brief “Abbott and Costello Who’s On Third” style extract, customised in wordplay to bring on “A man to Hold Em” and “A car” as required. If “O it can’t be,” “Why?” “No O,” is your kind of humour, this has to be a ticket for you.
On safer ground, Cirque De Soliel provided a few minutes of aerial dance from their Las Vegas show “O,” and English National Ballet the “Sugar Plum Fairy” sequence from more grounded “The Nutcracker.” Both elegant grace and pleasingly colourful interludes.
Musical talent began with Broadway and West End star Marisha Wallace singing our National Anthem. Shortly to take British citizenship herself, she may find adjusting to our understated manner of performing our anthem will take time. Far better in her solo spot was “And I’m Telling You,” in a voice big enough for the Hall’s drum like space.
James Bay performed his latest number and 2024 Eurovision winner Nemo, theirs. The latter had a rather fab “liquorice all sort” stage to roll around on – took ages to set up but rather worth it. Should have used it for the “Starlight Express” skaters too, perhaps.
“Britain’s Got Talent” winner Sydney Christmas delivered a stunning “Believer,” leaving the audience begging, alas unsuccessfully, for a second number.
Likewise, Sophie Ellis-Bextor had the crowd enthusiastically embracing her “Murder on The Dancefloor,” connecting on present and nostalgia levels and adding a little of her latest song for good measure.
Bringing on the magic, Stephen Mulhern took the first spot with the old “tear up a newspaper and it’s whole again” routine done well enough that even from above the monkey couldn’t see the manipulation. Following a well set-up joke, an unfortunate angle did reveal the mechanics of levitating Amanda Holden, but then, well, she’s that kind of a magician’s assistant, really.
Monkey’s magic comedy idols Penn and Teller alas had all too short an opportunity to trash Vanessa Williams’s credit card and return it to her inside a burger inside several raccoon-not-proof locked and disgustingly filled garbage cans (they are American). Again, from its perch, the monkey was wondering what Teller was doing with a concealing blue piece of material at one point, but it was effective for magic fans and a curtain raiser for their 50th Anniversary run at the London Palladium in September 2025.
A neat bridge into the comedy. In short supply this year, felt the monkey and many around it. Without exception, every comic on the bill broke Ken Dodd’s First Rule – “you’ve got to grab ‘em in the first 10 seconds. 3 on a TV talent show.”
Scott Bennett gave us his opinions on camping (as in ‘too many zips,’ rather than career advice to Mr Carr) and stayed almost within his allotted time.
Matt Forde managed to offend a good proportion of the audience by opening with an explanation of requiring a stick on stage. Thankfully recovering from cancer, he lost sympathy with his exceptionally crass wording. The chill was noticeable, and he had to fight to recover.
Ellie Taylor faired likewise with her explanation of being a year late on stage. Her son arrived the morning of the Royal Variety Performance last year, she stated. Opining that he was yet another man blocking a woman’s path to a top job. The line, on landing, felt sexist and unsympathetic, tainting the rest of her stage time.
Best of the group, Glaswegian Larry Dean forgot he was not in a small comedy club when remarking about his eyes, but went on to land (literally at the end) a fair routine about class and assumptions, even if overrunning considerably his allocated slot.
Ending with Marti Pellow and the “Change and Check Choir,” a gorgeous “assistance dog” on stage nearly stole the show, but this useful reminder to look after ourselves did dispense some of the best medicine possible – happiness – by reminding us that “Love Is All Around.”
Not a vintage year, perhaps. The TV edit should prove tighter, but the perishing cold outside (and inside, when someone didn’t shut the door to the monkey’s box seat area - explaining why the men had to wear penguin outfits) was lightened by the warm goodwill of the whole event.
The monkey hopes to return next year and support the worthwhile charity for those who have given us all so much pleasure with their talent to entertain over many years.
4 stars.