(seen at the afternoon performance on 4th July 2026)
Ben Ockrent’s latest play has four siblings clearing their late mother’s house and dividing her possessions. Jonny (JJ Field) wants a small painting. SPOILER ALERT: His antique dealer friend thinks it is a lost Pissarro worth millions. SPOILER ENDS.
There is a twist, but to reveal it negates the play – and the theatre would have done well to print the “spoiler” warning in the programme in ink that can be read in low light. Luckily the monkey found a bulb and did so, or it would have made an already execrable afternoon even less entertaining.
Undecided whether it is a comedy or drama, the first 30 minutes are glacially unfunny. Rob (Sam Swainsbury) takes ages playing about with an invalid bed that should be in use in the community, not wasted on a stage for unamusing antics.
Eventually sister Olivia (Sally Phillips) enters and we judderingly move into “I was the one who cared full-time for her” territory, with some eco-warrior stuff too.
A rather pointless dialogue about emojis follows, and other sister Michelle (Charly Clive) arrives to tick-box ‘primary school teacher’ on our list.
Jonny’s revelation kicks it up a gear and we fly for a while before it goes very weird – a “total eclipse” in fact – and the whole thing tails off from there.
Inadequate research on inheritance, financial and moral, undermines the plot entirely. Joanna Scotcher’s set narrows the stage so that nobody outside the central seats gets much of a view either.
Director Michael Longhurst manages at least to find pace where Ockrent rambles, and the cast are lively enough to follow his lead – even where the dialogue clunks into a ‘stage speak’ style so commonly used to represent British middle-class families in theatre.
There are gems of two ideas here, either of which could have created stronger plays in more able hands. Much of the audience found the entire work hilarious, and movement director Chi-San Howard does create a bright enough spot for the monkey to add a second star.
Still, it left feeling it had attended a mostly frustrating and rather bland event.
2 stars.