(seen at the performance on 4th December 2023)
You know you are getting old when things you remember from your teenage years become historical musical theatre fodder. The “Charles and Diana Romance” has to be up there with the biggest stories of the 1980s, and now it is on stage.
First jolt was the pre-show music of the era. Blondie, Madonna, Duran Duran as the audience entered. Diana would have danced to them all, we all did. And still do.
A very simple staging, no platforms as at the Theatre Royal Drury Lane and London Palladium “musicals in concert.” Just the orchestra, a few chairs and microphones – the last sadly linked to a sound system alternately too loud, quiet or “clipping” (not being on when the actors start singing) throughout the show.
Seven named lead roles and gaggle from the Trinity Laben Conservatoire Ensemble, plus an on-stage choir made up the performers; 17 musicians under the ever-enthusiastic Adam Hoskins provided the tunes. We bucked in for one of the nuttiest nights of musical theatre since, well, ever.
Joe Dipietro keeps the book simple. First half deals with Diana Spencer (Maiya Quansah-Breed) meeting Charles (Andy Coxon) at a party thrown by Camilla Parker Bowles. Bowles (Alice Fearn) recognises the threat to what she has with him, but also the need for Charles to marry a virgin to satisfy the needs of the Crown.
Diana quickly realises that her worldview is way different from her future husband’s. Despite doubts, they marry within 20 minutes of the show starting. There’s three in the marriage and the first half ends on a decision to end the relationship. Act two deals with the messy divorce, smear campaign on both sides and ends in 1996 with the world lauding Diana’s groundbreaking charity work.
The whole execution of this tale is as bizarre as the content. We have young Diana Spencer, but also Diana, Princess of Wales (Kerry Ellis) standing by to commentate and elucidate. The Queen (Denise Welch) staggers on occasionally to wag the regal finger at anything detrimental to the crown’s image and stomp firmly on the slightest signs of emotion. Her final cut-off (wishing it was the head) of the troublesome daughter-in-law is an iron blow without the velvet glove.
This possibly is the root of what is wrong with the entire show. It is impossible to tell whether it is a reverential attempt to tell Diana’s truth and right a perceived wrong against her, or whether it is intended to satirise the Royal Family in her favour, and thus gain revenge for the “Queen of People’s Hearts.”
What we get is literally a foot in two very camp camps. Luckily, there is enough merriment along the way to make it worth hanging on for the wild ride.
You have to give director Owen Horsley credit for some of the costume choices (well, you have to, as there is no named wardrobe designer). Spencer’s quietly stunning “F.U. Dress” you would expect, the witty red pullover with white sheep except for a single black one, you would not. Diana P.O.W’s “Harvard University” sweatshirt is equally fun, her own dress reveal another neat moment.
Horsley also makes very good use of the wide stage, filling it with the ensemble as a pack of rabid journalists and jaded courtiers. They chatter and gossip and terrorise the young princess, generally keeping things moving smartly along as more than a decade passes in well under two hours, the years riffled at random in the process.
David Bryan does not exactly come up with a score packed with catchy numbers and strong lyrics. In fact, for the most part the lyrics are nearly as ludicrous as the state of the Royal marriage. And yet “I Miss You Most On Sundays” – Camilla’s wistful longing for her lover – is as strong a cabaret show tune as any.
Other pretty good moments include “This Was How Your People Dance” as Diana Spencer yearns for disco rather than Bach and harbours hope she could get her husband to boogie.
“The Words Came Pouring Out” has an “Evita” quality, as Princess Diana hands author Morton all the ammunition he needs to publish “Diana, In Her Own Words.”
“Diana (The Rage)” is nearly as good, the unhappy couple slinging ammunition as they try to find a way out of each other’s company.
By contrast the Queen’s tale “An Officer’s Wife” is just embarrassing as Walsh is forced to deliver her autobiography near the end of the show. Still, Walsh carries it off as she has the whole evening, with a dignity that would make Her late Majesty proud.
The standard of the lead performances is high for all. Kerry Ellis soars on her vocals, “Underestimated” opening the show and “If” closing it with equal energy.
Her younger self, Maiya Quansah-Breed, has a touch of minx, fragile awareness, a good heart and the ability to act delighted at the string of pearls Charles sends as a love token. Add a sweet voice and in the best-staged tableau featuring both Dianas, she more than holds her own with the senior team.
Andy Coxton grows as Charles, not quite finding the curmudgeon initially, but stiffening in attitude and irrationality (he’s going to go on television and put his view, use the media to do as his ex-wife did) as the show continues.
The peanut gallery went panto-happy on the cheers and boos for Alice Fearn’s performance as Camilla Parker Bowles. Luckily, Fearn fed off their energy to raise her haunting of the unhappy couple to amusing heights.
In smaller roles, Aleyna Mohanraj made an entertaining Sarah Spencer, Diana’s sister, offering no helpful support the night before the wedding. Later, Jay Perry had a moment as James Hewitt, offering “riding lessons” to the frustrated princess, and a voice not given enough to do.
An evening which matched the madness of the fairytale that never was, camper than Butlins, Pontins and Maplins added together, hysterically crass at times yet with the odd genuinely tender moment.
A producer would have to be crazier than Max Bialystok to stage a full London production without extensive revisions to bring the show into focus as something bitingly witty to draw repeat visits and the intellectual credibility West End audiences think they require (but don’t mostly support when offered it).
Still, there is enough here surely to support another concert presentation at least, and the crowd left delighted at sharing something we can all agree was as unique as the lady herself.
3 stars.