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THE GOODMONKEY
AWARDS 2007
Welcome to the
Seventh annual Goodmonkey awards.
Sadly, again this year Brian McKinney (of late Goodshow.com website
fame) couldn’t participate, but the prize giving goes on, and the
memory is retained in the awards name.
Following much success in 2006, the monkey again is giving “readers' awards.”
Since the last set was published, many emailed the monkey with
suggestions - and it has included a selection of the politer ones
(including the reasons for nomination) where possible. Nominations
for the 2008 awards are welcome throughout the year too,
contact us.
So, once more according to tradition, the monkey takes the
opportunity to distribute booty as follows:
A Junior Doctor Kit (including magnifying glass and microscope):
to Helena Bonham Carter, for her “He’s Got Balls” verdict on Daniel
'Harry Potter' Radcliffe’s West End debut appearing naked in ‘Equus,’
as reported in the Sunday Times newspaper of 4th March 2007.
Unintentional double entendre? Bad pun? Statement confirming her
winning of a nefarious bet? Or just evidence of a particularly
sheltered upbringing? Who cares, she gave the monkey a laugh, and
takes the final word on the whole saga too.
'Victoria’s Secrets' Gift Tokens: for See Tickets for a typo on
their website in March 2007. Offering an excellent “Dinner and Show”
package to ‘Mary Poppins,’ they included a meal at the ‘Med Kitchen’
restaurant which apparently served 'brassiere' type food…. A
particularly uplifting menu, thought the monkey.
Ken Livingstone Green Newt Trophy: to an un-named member of
the audience at “Avenue Q” (they will know who they are). ‘The
Stage’ newspaper of 22nd March 2008 reports a staff writer having to
ask that person to move their skateboard so that he could access his
seat. Well, if the Mayor will insist on trying to ban cars and make
parking difficult, this is the result. Clever solution, of course…
Signed Copy of “Ogilvy on Advertising”: to the designers of
the “Little Shop of Horrors” newspaper advertising campaign in July 2007. When
“Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat” opened, their hugely
original response was a cartoon of carnivorous plant ‘Audrey 2’
eating a dreamcoat and commenting that “any show will do.” The
monkey loved it, and the similar ones featuring other shows too.
Estate agents “Sold” sign: to the RSC. Buy the New London –
don’t dawdle. The ‘Seagull’ / ‘King Lear’ season has proven how the
space can be transformed into a perfect London house for you guys…
get on with it says the monkey…
Golden hard hats and ear-protectors (for courage under
construction): to the ladies of the Dominion Theatre box office.
The sound of drilling from the building site next to the theatre in
May 2007 made their lives a misery as it echoed off their marbled
enclosure under the stairs. Despite this unendurable racket daily
for weeks on end, they all managed to provide outstanding customer
service though half deafened. Bravo, says the monkey.
A baking-soda powered boat from a 1970’s cornflakes box: to ”Spamalot”
(Palace Theatre) and “Arcadia” (Donmar Warehouse) for unusual
promotional gifts given away with every ticket. “Spamalot” managed
free coconut shells for Fathers’ Day 2007; the Donmar came up with
squishy elephant toys free with every ticket. Thoughts from
staff distributing them are mercifully
non-existent…
Banishment to Dante’s Seventh Circle - plus tickets to the
revival of "Bernadette the Musical": to the sandwich that put
the monkey’s digestive system into meltdown for much of 2007 and
interfered inordinately with its theatregoing. Concurrently to the
vicious online thugs who created viruses that attacked the site
machinery too.
'Defenders of the Weak' Shield: for caring; to the Society of
London Theatre’s Access Department. Taking “monkey style”
photographic walking routes to a whole new level, this wonderful
outfit have created online illustrated routes to theatres from
nearest accessible landmarks / tube stations to aid wheelchair users
and others with mobility issues. The monkey cannot think of a better
use for the internet than that.
Pipes and Comfy Slippers: to the editors of RcubedNews and
Goodshow.com. Two fantastic websites that sadly ceased to be in
2007. Enjoy your well-earned time off, gentlemen. RCubed is also concurrently awarded the other set of stumps
and bails to match those handed out in previous awards. Now the
field is complete, it wishes them many happy hours of relaxation.
Readers' Awards:
Lion Costume for bravery and grace: to the Deputy Theatre
Manager at the Gielgud Theatre during the early run of “Equus” in
March 2007. A reader reported that,
“Due to the indisposition of the Richard Griffiths, Colin Haigh was
the designated understudy for the part but had clearly not learnt
the part nor had adequate rehearsal.
Many complained at the end to the Deputy Theatre Manager who bravely
made herself available in the foyer – the most common comment being
“disgrace.”
He noted that despite a torrent of abuse, the manager kept her cool
and every customer was heard and dealt with using utmost courtesy.
Impressive, and the monkey is glad to make the award here.
Crystal Computer Keyboard, for clarity in website design: to
Delfont-Mackintosh.com.
A reader says, “I would like to say that I was extremely pleased
with the simple layout, the options to view, cancel and change seat
tickets… and also that the price shown was the final price to be
paid! Well done NO HIDDEN CHARGES”
Copy of “The Time Warp”: to Keith Prowse - the “Get Into London
Theatre” promotion ticketing service provider for 2007. A reader
says that he booked several seats,
“including 'The Rocky Horror Show' at the Comedy, and in the same
envelope as the tickets there was a leaflet urging me to go to see
'Donkey's Years' at the Comedy – the show which preceded it and
closed to allow Rocky in! To add insult to injury, the 'Donkey's
Years' brochure featured photos of the first cast and not the final
replacement one”
An inconveniently large “coffee table” book: to the Mayflower
Theatre, Southampton, for their gigantic 'Souvenir Brochure' of
'White Christmas' which at 13.75 inches by 9.75 inches just managed
to pip to the post the 'Wicked' programme at 13 inches by 9.25
inches. The reader complains,
“I really hate having to lug these things around, especially when
most of the information could be contained in a normal size
programme… my heart sinks when I arrive at a theatre and find that
if I want to know who is in the show I have no choice but to buy a
great big glossy picture book and carry it around with me for the
rest of the evening, not to mention the strain on storage space in
my house”
A session of education with Reverend Mother: for those seated
around one reader at “The Sound of Music” in January 2007. He says,
“a group of girls behind us couldn’t go three hours without stuffing
their faces, and people to the side of us who were chatting
non-stop… until I bonked one over the head with my ‘London Lite’
newspaper.”
While the monkey cannot condone actual violence towards other
audience members, it sympathizes, and would also note that “Metro”
is that bit heavier for dealing with trickier situations…
Life membership of the Scouting movement, with “Good Deeds” badges
for their uniforms: to Front of House Staff at the Savoy
Theatre. A reader says of his group visit to “Fiddler on the Roof” in
2007,
“I had an elderly lady with us who is very immobile. She finds it very
difficult and painful just getting off the coach, so a theatre
totally underground was going to create real problems. I took her to
the box office on arrival at 5pm and explained her problem. They
changed her seat to the circle from the stalls and asked her to get
to the box office at 7pm. That evening they took her in a wheelchair for a 5
minute 'ride' around the block to the Circle level so she had no
stairs to cope with, and then collected her afterwards and wheeled
her back up to the Strand to our coach. Superb service.”
The monkey agrees, and is pleased it can end the award giving
section of this ceremony on another high note.
In conclusion, how can the year be summarised? For a
change it was an obvious decision. 2007 will go down in history as
“The Year of the Squeeze.” It isn’t just the banks and money markets
that have been actively pinching and tucking as the months sped by.
In the West End, musicals are being squeezed into ever smaller
playhouses in the hope of keeping these theatres alive with popular
content. With both backing hard to find and those same small
playhouses filled with musicals, long runs of unfamiliar and
exciting new plays have become almost a thing of the past. Luck and
a star name allows a play to keep afloat for a short season; but
quality work has appeared and disappeared more quickly than usual,
the monkey feels.
Though ticket prices have overall remained stable, higher booking
fees and the importation from Broadway of “Premium” tickets have
squeezed extra cash from many. Combined with the almost compulsive
need to buy tickets to see shows cast from television productions,
further pressures have been applied to piggy-banks throughout the
land. The monkey also notes how extra seats are being squeezed into
venues as they refurbish too. One professional reviewer noted it
cuts circulation space in the auditorium; while the monkey wouldn’t
go that far, it does miss centre aisles, and also the distinctive
individual seating layouts that theatres used to have. Now many look
almost the same, collections of seating plans are far less
interesting to read.
It hasn’t been easy on the internet either. Two great websites,
operated by two great friends of the monkey were finally squeezed
off the supposedly democratic web too. Goodshow.com, one of the
pioneers of the internet vanished in April, with RcubedNews.com
vanishing in October. The value of the web as a tool of free speech
and intellectual debate cannot be underestimated, and the loss of
both sites is a sign of how commercialism is rendering independent
thought and new ideas as difficult to sustain online as on the West
End stage.
On a more positive note the monkey does record that most readers
seem to be enjoying productions more than ever before – and that
more discounts are available than ever too. The monkey looks forward to
an exciting 2008 and wishes all readers, as ever, some very happy
theatregoing.
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