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Performance Times Ticket Prices Where to Buy Tickets  Seating Plan Seat Opinions Getting Here




GROAN UPS (comedy)
Ends 1st December 2019.
Captioned performance: 16th November 2019 at 7.30pm.
Audio described performance: 12th November 2019 at 7.30pm (touch tour 6pm)
Signed performance: 30th November 2019 at 2.30pm.

Aged 13 or 30, school affects almost all of us.

Mischief Theatre return with a new show, in which they play both teenagers and teachers in an anarchic new comedy by the team.



Theatremonkey Opinion:

(Seen at the afternoon preview performance on 7th October 2019).
According to the programme notes, this show is based on a form of French theatre called "Child Bouffon." For those more familiar with British comedy, it means "Billy and Johnny," "The Two Ronnies," Morwenna Banks and a billion other television sketch-shows where little children say things adults cannot. A two-minute sequence can be uproariously funny, but can it be stretched to a full evening's entertainment? If anyone can, the Mischief Theatre writing team of Henry Lewis, Jonathan Sayer and Henry Shields can pull it off...

... and they fail, miserably.

This is one excruciatingly unfunny show, with only a couple of genuine moments of comedy and pathos saving it from total disaster – and not in a deliberately “goes wrong” way. Split into three parts, we trace the school lives of five children from year two to adulthood.

Things begin promisingly enough with a short “school assembly” sequence (beware front stalls folk) but become unglued instantly as the school appears to be for those aged reception class straight to sixth-form. How many schools do that?

The device launches year two’s “what we did at the weekend” presentation, introducing the main characters and trying to milk original laughs from the toilet-humour those who write this stuff without thinking consider all small children are obsessed with. Horrible “knowing” innuendo misses the mark and irritates with repetition.

Moving into the aftermath, the classroom has the children communicating ad-nauseam without regard for age or interest. Worth noting that the monkey attended with its elderly parents (both huge Mischief Theatre fans who begged to share the treat). Both fell asleep at this juncture and the monkey didn’t wake them as it would have been cruel.

After a lengthy 40 minutes and scene change (terrible second set by Fly Davis – no high school has an infantile classroom like that), they are 13. The fumbling continues (and one character calls the other Vernon for some odd reason). The talk is less lavatorial, more lustful, but again long stretches of dialogue fail to move things forward at much of a pace.

An interval – the monkey was working, so couldn’t leave – and they are adults at a re-union. Fly Davis strikes again with a mis-judged table and chairs scale. Extra superfluous characters are introduced – being fair “Chemise” (Bryony Corrigan) tries hard - lumbered with material telegraphed with even more flags and lights than anything preceding it (and there is plenty of that, too). The other new running joke character, “Paul” (Dave Hearn) is a considerable irritation without reward.

Still, a moment of tenderness between swot Katie (Charlie Russell) and loser Spencer (Henry Lewis) is beautifully observed and lifts for a moment hopes of redemption. Another running joke involving Lewis and the class pet saves things further – but once more goes on far too long to affect the overall impression.

In fairness, Krystal Dockery (understudy Moon, replacing absent Nancy Zamit) is a stronger actor than her character is written, let down in this third scene as the writing flounders to give her a meaningful conclusion.

Other cast members, including bullied Simon (Jonathan Sayer) and posh Archie (Henry Shields) get obvious and minced finishes, also satisfying nobody. They wrote this, and are responsible – handing in homework clearly cribbed from earlier years.

“The Comedy About A Bank Robbery” showed that this team need vast amounts of time to refine material – that show has changed considerably since its original 4-star opening. This time, the theatre was booked way in advance... and it shows that the play itself has had no time to be worked or polished.

Cut to 90 minutes, staged with regard to the characters' ages and with characters eliminated to focus on the heightened reality of the main ones – a move that has served the company well in the “Goes Wrong” series, the play may stand a chance. As it stands, you’ll groan all right at the waste of your time and money, as well as the thought of what might have been.

2 stars.


Your Reviews: Add your own by clicking here.
Important: Some reviews below can contain "spoilers" - please don't read if this bothers you!

(2 reviews).

Stalls A10.
For the production I saw, ‘Groan Ups’ (Sep – Dec 2019) row A was the first row, with two rows in front having been removed. This meant excellent leg room. A10 is a good central seat so doesn’t miss anything at the sides. That was the good news though; the bad news is that the stage for this production is above eye level when seated, so you are looking up all the time. Fifteen minutes into the first act is probably when the crick in the neck starts to become annoyingly painful. Also, some of the comedy in this production does take place at floor level, so there are a few moments where you miss the full effect as you’re below the level of the stage. If leg room is the critical factor for you though, then this is a good seat.

Stalls P11: There is an overhang but it did not matter for this play. It feels quite a long way back. I had an excellent view and plenty of legroom.

The play shows a group of five school friends in the infants, in secondary school and at the school reunion. It is very funny but not as farcical as other plays by this company. It is not superficial as it shows the personalities and roles played within the group. We laughed, grimaced and were moved.


Top Performance Times Ticket Prices Where to Buy Tickets  Seating Plan Seat Opinions Getting Here

Performance Schedule:
The monkey advises checking performance times on your tickets and that performances are happening as scheduled, before travelling.

Tuesday to Friday at 7.30pm (7pm on 10th October 2019)
Saturday at 2.30pm and 7.30pm
Sunday at 3pm and 7pm


Ticket Prices:

Offers May be available - Click Here

View this information in diagram form.

Rows A to O: £52.50 except
"Premium Seats" rows E to K 5 to 14: £75
Rows P to S: £45

Dress Circle
Rows A to J: £52.50 except
"Premium Seats" rows A to C 5 to 15: £75
"Restricted View" G 19: £30
Row K: £45

Upper Circle
Rows C to G (except C and D 1 and 18): £30
Rows A, B, H and J, plus C and D 1 and 18: £20

£45 per seat.

Some details may change, the monkey will update as required.


Top Performance Times Ticket Prices Where to Buy Tickets  Seating Plan Seat Opinions Getting Here

Buying Tickets Online:

Other Box Office Information

Tickets offered differ between outlets. Outlets also may offer different seats via their phone and online systems. Offers may be available click here.
Theatre Box Office:

Booking fees per ticket for online bookings:
No booking fees except on Saturday 2pm and Sunday 1.30pm performances, when a £2 per ticket booking fee applies.

Other Online Choices (with S.T.A.R. genuine ticket agencies):
When the box office does not have seats available, or you require an alternative choice of seats, the Theatremonkey Ticketshop, telephone 020 7420 9778 (0044 207 420 9778 if calling from outside the United Kingdom), agency service can offer seats with a variable "per ticket" service charge - £9.50 on £52.50 seats (£13.50 on £75, £8.10 on £45, £5.40 on £30, £3.60 on £20 seats). More than the box office, but well worth trying as it often has tickets when other companies do not! Note that this system will confirm exact seat numbers prior to purchase. A £1.95 per booking, not per ticket, handling fee may apply on some transactions by telephone. NO handling fee applies for online purchases.

Another alternative is which offers seats with a fee of £7.87 on £52.50 seats (£11.25 on £75, £6.75 on £45, £4.50 on £30, £3 on £20 seats); and £2.75 per booking (not per ticket) postal charge.

Alternatively, through Ticketmaster with a sliding scale of per ticket booking fees: £10.25 on £52.50 seats (£14.75 on £75, £9 on £45, £6 on £30, £4 on £20 seats).

Encore Tickets (telephone 0207 400 1253 / 0044 207 400 1253 if calling from outside the United Kingdom) offer seats with booking fees of £14.50 on £52.50 seats (£15 on £75, £9 on £45, £6 on £30, £4 on £20 seats). A postage charge of £1.45 per booking, not per ticket may be applied to bookings made from UK addresses more than 5 days before the performance. The "Flexiticket" Exchange Service, allowing FREE transfer / cancellation (credit note up to 12 months) of your booking up to 3 days before the performance is also available for £1.99 per ticket. Discounts and "Meal and Show" packages may also be available. hotel / theatre ticket packages are also available. charge a booking fee of £10.50 on £52.50 seats (£15 on £75, £6 on £30, £4 on £20 seats). There is a £1 per booking, not per ticket, transaction fee for collecting tickets from the box office before your performance. Alternatively, if time allows, there is a postage to your home option, costing £2.95 (£4.95 to non-UK addresses) per booking, not per ticket. Optional Ticket Insurance is also available. Discounts and Meal and Show Packages may also be available.

ALSO SEE for great value "hotel and theatre ticket" packages.

Other Independent S.T.A.R. ticket agencies may also offer an alternative choice of seats.


Box Office Information:
Tickets offered differ between outlets. Outlets also may offer different seats via their phone and online systems. Offers may be available click here.
Theatre Box Office:
0330 333 4814
Operated by Quay Tickets Agency 9am to 9pm daily, on behalf of the venue.


Booking fees per ticket for telephone bookings:
No booking fees except on Saturday 2pm and Sunday 1.30pm performances, when a £2 per ticket booking fee applies.

For personal callers or by post: Strand, London. WC2R 0NH
No booking fee for personal callers.

Special Access Needs Customers:
Wheelchair users and other registered disabled theatregoers can book their seats and enquire about concessionary prices that may be available to them on a dedicated phone line. See Notes. is the comprehensive website about the venue, with a "view from seats" facility in the "booking" section.


Top Performance Times Ticket Prices Where to Buy Tickets  Seating Plan Seat Opinions Getting Here

Theatre Seat Opinions:
Please remember that cheaper seats often do not offer the same view / location quality as top price ones, and that ticket prices are designed to reflect this difference. and have a "view from seats" facility in the "booking" section.


Seating Plan Diagram

Stalls Dress Circle Upper Circle Notes

The Dress Circle overhangs the stalls at row J making the top of the stage invisible from row M back.

Pillars are located at the sides of the auditorium around row N.

The rake (slope of the floor) begins at at around row C, and is most noticeable from row P back.

Good in almost all seats. The monkey had been sceptical, but in 2018 a reader reported from row L that, "I had several inches between my knees and the row in front, and I'm 6'3"."

Row A seats 1 to 4, 15 and 16, row B17 and 18 and row P17 have nothing in front of them (P17 has a pillar almost in front, though).

Seat P1 has nothing in front of 50% of the seat.

Seat S1 is 80% clear in front of the seat.

Seat Q18 has nothing in front of 5% of the seat - leg stretching space for one leg, the monkey feels.


Choosing Seats in General:
If seats in rows AY or AZ are sold cheaply, the monkey rates them highly, as does a reader, ‘with a low stage, "a steal" at the price.’ Be aware that with a higher and shaped stage / props like a table or other furniture in the way, the view diminishes.

The first and last two seats in rows A to G should be chosen last among the top priced stalls as they are outside the proscenium and have a slightly restricted view of the edges of the stage through lighting / sound equipment often strapped here.

The rest of rows A to J are prime value for money, once you are three seats off the aisle.

At top price rows K to O are a little overpriced, you could sit further forward for the money. The rake (sloped floor to help see over rows in front) however means the view is at least clear, and the theatre, being small, encourages an intimate feeling between stage and audience from all seats.

Pillars at the sides of the auditorium around row N add a claustrophobic effect but do not especially interfere with the view. It is worth avoiding the ends of the row though, just to get maximum value for money.

The price normally drops to second at either row P or Q. At second price either is worthwhile.

Even the back two rows of this theatre offer fair value for money allowing for the overhang of the circle affecting the view.

Rear rows at the same (or slightly higher) prices than the upper circle may be a more comfortable option than that balcony. This applies particularly for the taller.

Wheelchair users can use a stair climber to access a space made if M1 is removed. Not a bad view at all, same as any other seat at the side of theatre, feels the monkey.

General Hazard Notes:
The front 4 rows are not raked, the shortest may not see over heads in front.

Equipment strapped to the walls either side of the stage takes out the views of the outermost two seats in all rows from A back to E in particular.

Changes for the current production:
The front row is A. The stage is head height to someone around 5ft 10. There is unlimited legroom as two rows have been removed.

The set design means that central and "high number" side seats are preferable. Those in the outermost two seats in particular will miss someone at the far side of the stage for a little of the third act. Nothing happens, but those paying full price may wish to be aware.

Most of rows E to K are at "premium" prices are totally your call, feels the monkey. There are decent seats around them at a lower price. Central E, D, C then B, or else (depending on your preference for being close to the stage) the seats beside the premium ones from row H back.

Prices drop at row P, making 4 to 14 worth taking over more expensive row O in front for the same view.

Reader Comments:
"AY: In A Forest, Dark and Deep" (2011), (Taljaard). I bought a day seat for £10 and was on the front row. As the theatre has one of the lowest stages in the West End this was a fantastic bargain."

"AY: In A Forest, Dark and Deep" (Beth). We got day seats which were £10 and front row. They were brilliant views as the stage is very low, I don't think you could have asked for better seats. Comfortable seats with loads of leg room and a low stage. All excellent. However the play is quite an uncomfortable one and you are very close to the actors, they feel on top of you at some points - so beware if you are easily embarrassed!!"

"AY1 and 2: "Stepping Out" (February 2017), (Ally H).  An absolute steal at £22.00 each."

“AY1 to 3: "Piaf" (October 2008). It was great to be so close and be part of the action."

“AY3 and 4: "Private Lives" (January 2010), (Thomas). We sat at first row,. First half was bit sore neck as it’s a balcony scene, and the stage was built-out. In the middle of the stage was a plant pot, so I wouldn't advise getting centre row seat as it's right in front of you. Second half was perfect as they used the whole stage and our seat is basically the best in the house I reckon. Comfortable viewing till the end."

"AY6: "This Is Going To Hurt" (July 2019). Central seat on front row. Very close to the stage so one looks up at the stage. Feels very immediate."

"AY6: "Little Voice" (October 2009). Great value at £15. You miss some little bits of the action which take place in the "upstairs" of the house, but really only 10 minutes of the whole play take place up there, and most of it you can still see."

AZ: "Piaf" (October 2008). I sat in the second row AZ - it was close but not too close, e.g. I didn't get a sore neck!"

"AZ 4: "A Woman Of No Importance" (October 2017). Day seat, (second row) for £19.50. Pretty decent seat for that price. Acceptable legroom, very good view of the stage. Stage floor was eye level for me, smaller people may have to look up a little."

"A 1 to 3: "The Ladykillers" (July 2013). With all of us being over 6ft tall, we appreciated the vast empty space and extra leg room in front of us."

"A9: "An Ideal Husband" (November 2010). I paid £25 through the GILT ticket offer (runs January to March each year). I'm 6ft tall and and had excellent legroom and a fantastic view (note: no one was sat in front of me, but I doubt it would have been a problem if there had been). The stage is lower than other theatres I've been to, so while you do have to look up, it isn't uncomfortable. Overall, a wonderful seat and thoroughly deserves its green status!"

A10: “Groan Ups” (September 2019). Row A was the first row, with two rows in front having been removed. This meant excellent leg room. A10 is a good central seat so doesn’t miss anything at the sides. That was the good news though; the bad news is that the stage for this production is above eye level when seated, so you are looking up all the time. Fifteen minutes into the first act is probably when the crick in the neck starts to become annoyingly painful. Also, some of the comedy in this production does take place at floor level, so there are a few moments where you miss the full effect as you’re below the level of the stage. If leg room is the critical factor for you though, then this is a good seat.

"B3:"An Ideal Husband" (June 2018). Reasonable leg room - reasonable view of stage except when actors are on far right of stage [I am quite short]."

"B10: "Lady Windermere's Fan" (February 2018). Wonderful clear view of the stage."

"B12 and 13: "Volcano" (August 2012), (Regular reader). We paid £22.12 per ticket through an online promotion. At 6ft tall my knee-caps touched the back of the two seats in front but there is plenty of space under those seats to stretch your legs and thus I would say it is fairly comfortable. The seats are perfectly staggered with the row in front meaning we had a perfect view of the entire stage. The stage itself is relatively low and therefore neither of us experienced any neckache luckily from being so close!"

"C 6, 7 and 8: "Hand to God," (February 2016), (thespyinthestalls). No problems at all - great view -perfect distance for Hand to God where it helps to be able to get close up view of Tyrone."

"C8: "The Flying Karamazov Brothers" (June 2011). Just about the right distance back and a great view."

"C8 and 9: gave a super view of the stage and were very comfortable."

"C13 and 14: "The Importance of Being Earnest" (Juy 2015). Great seats, good clear view. Legroom good."

“C17 and 18: “Masterclass,” (Chris B). These seats are to the very far right as you look at the stage and a bit too close for my liking. There is the added bonus that there is only one row in front (unoccupied for our performance so a good coat rest) but you are looking to the left the whole way through and you might miss a very small sliver of the right hand side of the stage. There is good legroom too. But I’d recommend being further back and more central if possible. However, you do get an incredibly close view of the actors facial expressions etc. and these seats would be ok if you are seeing a play with few actors and a basic set, such as Masterclass.”

"D14: (Hannah M). A bargain at £20 on student standby an hour before the performance. The view was excellent as you were far enough back not to crane your neck whilst still being close."

"Row E: (That Fulham Couple). Very close to the action but no neck crick."

"E11 and E12: Very good seats with a full view of the stage."

"E11 and E12: (James – regular reader). Excellent."

"E15 and 16: (Avril). Great seats, with an excellent view and plenty of leg room."

"E18: “Forbidden Broadway” (September 2014). Was upgraded to this from Q18! A bargain for £15. Great seat, and though your view loses a bit of the stage towards the wings, it’s really not much compared with aisle seats in other theatres – and with Forbidden Broadway not a problem at all."

"F7: "Hand to God" (March 2016). Good view, but rake is not all that noticeable in this seat. Leg room was pretty decent, and that seemed to be throughout the venue. It was a small venue, but it didn't feel at all claustrophobic."

"H1 and 2: "Dead Funny" (November 2016). Good comfortable seats, good view."

"H11 and H12: "The Importance of Being Earnest" (July 2015) (Roger Lovegrove). We were pleasantly surprised by the amount of legroom: we could actually stretch our legs out. The seats did seem to be slightly narrower than normal, though."
"J6 and J7: Perfect: excellent view, just the right distance from the stage."

“J11 and 12: : “What the Butler Saw,” (Chris B). These seats are nice and centrally located about halfway back in the stalls but as it is quite a small, intimate theatre, you get a good clear view and feel quite close to the stage. There is plenty of legroom and the stage is quite low so you have a good eye line with it. I would definitely recommend these seats as you are about the perfect distance from the stage, not too close, but not too far, just right, as a blonde girl once said.”

“J15 to 17: "What The Butler Saw" (March 2012). A clear view of the stage and not a bad place to sit at all. Small theatre so no-one will ever be that far from the stage whilst sat in the stalls."

"K3 and 4: (Daf). Were more than happy and could see most of the action."

"L8: "Lady Windermere's Fan" (January 2018). I had several inches between my knees and the row in front, and I'm 6'3"."

"L9: "Three Sisters" (June 2019). Got a day seat shortly before curtain - L9 for 20 pounds. A terrific full view seat."

“L9 and 10: Using an offer at the time, we paid £19 each to sit in Stalls (normally £46 a seat), where legroom was perfectly adequate for someone of height 5” 8” and the view was excellent. We thought this was an absolute bargain for a show of this quality."

"L13: "Stepping Out" (March 2017), (Tonyloco). Excellent, and I certainly got my money’s worth."

"N11: "The Prisoner of Second Avenue" (June 2010), (Mark). Got for £12 through the Old Vic Young Persons' offer. Very good seat, although would obviously go for further forward if paying full price."

"Row L: "Handbagged" (April 2014) No problems with sound or vision."

"P11: "Groan Ups" (October 2019). There is an overhang but it did not matter for this play. It feels quite a long way back. I had an excellent view and plenty of legroom."

"Row R: "Handbagged" (April 2014). Second from the back, it was at times a little difficult to hear what they were saying."

"R 1 and 2: "The Importance of Being Earnest" (August 2015).  We selected these seats hoping that my tall ( 6ft 4) father would have enough leg room and that my shorter mother would be able to see over the heads of the people in front. Dad reported that he had enough leg room in seat 1 and during the intervals it was useful to be able to lean against the back wall while others left and returned to their seats - good if you are a little unsteady on your feet. Despite being right at the back under the overhang the seats gave a very good view of the stage."

"Row S: "Master Class" (February 2012). The circle does overhang very low but for 'Master Class' you miss nothing. Plenty of leg room and quite comfortable. There is no amplification in this show, so as my father's hearing is not too good he had difficulty catching some dialogue - though mainly because of people fidgeting in creaky seats rather than projection from the actors."



The Upper Circle overhangs the Dress Circle at row C, affecting the view of the top of the stage from row F back.

A single block of stepped seats.

Pillars at the ends of row F.

Slightly cramped in most rows for anyone over 5ft 6 or so, worst in rows
C (despite slightly elevated seating in that row) and D. B is the next most cramped.

Row A is just about comfortable for someone of 5ft 7, with A 1 and 19 having maximum stretching space if willing to accept missing the sides of the stage. A 2 and 18 are also tolerable if someone isn't using 1 and 19, as you can twist a leg sideways into the space and also get a few millimetres of extra room anyway.

Row J is similarly just acceptable for those of 5ft 8 or less, and row K up to 5ft 10, the monkey felt.

G19 has the pillar directly in front, but enough legroom for somebody of 5ft 7, and a space to the left for a leg to occupy empty space between the pillar and seat in front.

Choosing Seats in General:
The front of the Dress Circle is enclosed behind what this monkey calls a wide picture frame. The depth of the frame causes the front of an extended stage to be invisible for those sitting in row C.

The 'frame' also affects the view from seats 1 and 19 in all rows. They miss 5% or more of the stage nearest to them. Circle boxes intrude into views from end seats 2 and 18 - folk resting drinks on the front rests are noticable.

Pillars at the ends of row F add to the woes of these seat numbers from row G back. You can peer round the obstructions, but they are there.

Rows A, B, C, D and E, seats 3 to 17 offer the clearest view of the stage. Seats here are fair value for money, though watch for the legroom in rows B back to D, and C in particular.

Rows F to K are less good value at top price - take stalls instead. Got cheap, and if you don't require legroom or close-up views, K3 to 17 are a bargain at second price, feels the monkey - having a bit more legroom than the other rows.

Rows A and B seats 1 and 19, plus G 19 are designated restricted view due to being outside the picture frame opening. Row G seat 19 is squarely behind a pillar. All three are often discounted as leaning is required. Value for money is not outstanding in this trio, but as a way of seeing a sold out performance this monkey cannot do better. G19 has the better view, if willing to lean a little, A 1 and 19 are slightly more comfortable with legroom ahead.

Theatremonkey normally prefers the rear stalls to rear circle for the same money on grounds of view and legroom. As it says, if rows J and K are not cheaper, the monkey would take them second if stalls are available instead - again for view and comfort reasons.

General Hazard Notes:
The wide circle front restricts views of any extended stage front.

A wall and boxes jutting from the sides of the theatre block views from the end seats in row A.

Pillar block views from one seat in row G.

Legroom from row B back.

A reader also notes that those on the "high numbers" side can hear revellers in the pub just the other side of the fire exit door.

Changes for the current production:
Almost all seats are at top non-premium price. For comfort alone, the monkey again advises stalls for the same cash and skip the back rows from F to J anyway, long way away for the money, it feels.

Central rows A to C are "premium." Your call, feels the monkey. Children will like them, full grown adults may find stalls (particularly compared to circle row B) more comfortable.

Back row K is second price. About fair if you can accept the legroom or want a seat where you can see more easily over heads in front.

Restricted view seat G19 is cheaper than other seats. Fair value at third price, feels the monkey.

Reader Comments:
"A2 and 3: (Beth). They were absolutely brilliant seats, plenty of leg room (as I'm only 5ft 5) and amazing view of the stage. I would say beware of A1 though, no one was sitting there at my performance, but it would definitely be quite a restricted view."

"B12/13: (Alan). Afforded us an excellent view of the whole stage."

"B16 and 17: "Dead Funny" (October 2016). It is not good to book seats in the Dress Circle rows A, B, C towards the end of the aisle by the fire exit. We recently attended Dead Funny, Dress Circle row B 16 and 17 for an anniversary treat, and what a waste of money!! We battled to hear the actors against a continuous noise coming from the direction of the Fire Exit. We thought it was behind the scenes staff having a group meeting with plenty of laughing and general chatter! All the surrounding audience in rows in front and behind were moaning as well. At the end of the performance there was quiet a queue to inform the manager of our shambles of a performance. We were informed that the other side of the fire exit is an alleyway which leads to a local pub, and this is a regular and persistent occurrence. So BEWARE of these duff seats unless you want to listen in on a street party too!! :("

"C9: "Little Voice" (October 2009). Had a very good view of the stage BUT if I was shorter (I'm 6ft 1, so maybe for people 5ft 8 or below) I might have struggled to see, because there was quite a tall guy in front of me and his head was directly where LV stands for the start of her performance, I missed just the bottom of her legs but you would miss more if you were shorter. (Not something the monkey noticed, so further observations are welcome).”

"C11: "Master Class" (February 2012), (Taljaard – regular reader). Arrived at the theatre 40 minutes before curtain up and was offered C11 in the Dress Circle for £25. Fantastic seat with a perfect view."

"Row D: A couple of weeks ago I saw Volcano from Dress Circle seats in row D. I have long-ish legs and was comfortable throughout, but the people in front of us in row C had to move back during the interval because a couple of them were virtually sitting sideways because of the lack of legroom. Last night I went to see Paul Merton there and this time we were in row C and yes - very uncomfortable. A choice of sitting (a) with knees apart touching the people on both sides of me, (b) sideways with both knees to one side only rubbing against one neighbour but getting a twisted neck after a couple of hours, or (c) knees forwards and wedged in, ending up with a ridge gouged in my knees. Fortunately Paul was excellent, which eased the discomfort a bit."

"D7: "The Prisoner of Second Avenue" (July 2010). A good central seat, but I would rather be in the front half of the stalls, just to feel that bit closer to the stage."

"D16 and 17: "Swallows and Amazons" (December 2011). Our tickets cost £35 each through the Get Into London Theatre ticket promotion. I'm 6ft tall and felt I had comfortable leg room in D17. We only had children sat in front of us which give us a lovely and unobstructed view of the entire stage (apart from the few occasions the children stood up to better see the actors as they went among the audience but we didn't care about that because the show was so very good). Having now sat in both the Dress Circle and the Stalls of the Vaudeville I would prefer the central Stalls at the same price for the extra legroom and to feel closer to the action."

"G8: Felt a long way from the stage, but the sightlines are good, and I had a £15 bargain ticket, so I was happy with this."

"J12: "Oppenheimer" (April 2015), (Mary). Very happy with these seats. The view was perfect with the entire set visible. At around 5'5". (165cm) I was comfortable but taller people might find the legroom wanting; it was a squeeze moving past people."


Dress Circle Boxes

A, B, C and D are in pairs either side of the theatre between stage and Dress Circle at Dress Circle level.
Boxes A and C seat 3, boxes B and D seat 4.

Acceptable, as seating is on movable chairs.

Choosing Seats in General:
All boxes offer a clear but sideways view of the stage with an eighth of the edge of the stage not visible.

At second price value is moderate and those who find Dress Circle legroom tight should consider these seats after the stalls are full.

Box C can take two wheelchair transferees. The stalls alternative is better.

General Hazard Notes:
Side views with a small edge of the stage missing.

Lighting / speakers may be placed nearby, noisy.

Changes for the current production:
Sold at second price, very much worth a look, feels the monkey.

Reader Comments:
"Box C: (Annie Gross). Sideways view, but for the play we saw it was an excellent view. Most of the action took place centre stage, so the box was ideal for comfort and view." A second and third visit to other productions confirmed her feeling about it being her favourite box in this theatre. On a second visit to "The Importance of Being Earnest," (August 2015). lovely seats, sideways view, but very comfortable."

“Box C: "An Ideal Husband" (December 2010), (Mark). Got £10 day seats in box C, view very good and missed nothing."


The Upper Circle is called the GRAND CIRCLE in this theatre.

This seems higher up than the monkey expects for such a small theatre, but is odd. The front few rows feel quite close to the stage, the back ones a long way away...

Seats are a single stepped block, that doesn’t curve noticeably towards the stage like most other circles elsewhere do.

Row J is extra elevated on a step.

oor in all rows for anyone over 5ft 6, worst in rows A and D to F. A tiny bit more legroom in the centre 6 seats of rows B back, perhaps, but not much.

Seat B1 has nothing in front, and B18 is 98% clear of anything in front... the only problem is that the view has a rail in it.

Choosing Seats in General:
Like the Dress Circle the first and last two seats in each row suffer a poor view of the stage.

In all rows seats 4 to 16 offer the clearest view of the stage.

Those in row B used to lose some view of the stage / have lean forward thanks to a bar in the way - with a reduction proportional to that. New blocks under the seats should make a difference. If sitting there and having to lean, consider those in row C behind and try not to upset their view.

The monkey would take row F last, perhaps, as for less money you could sit a row behind (in G) and get roughly the same view - but that is just as an aside thought really...

Rows H and J feel far from the stage, but are priced accordingly.

These seats are priced to provide exactly fair value - you get the view you pay for in each case.

Seats in the rear stalls (often at the same price) may be a little more comfortable for the taller. Even if stalls are a little more expensive, the long legged may even feel it worth paying a little more for that. If on a budget and tall, B1 and B18 are the ones to opt for, the trade off of comfort for view is worth it, feels the monkey.

General Hazard Notes:
A rail across the front of the circle, particularly where it hits double height in front of A1 and 16...

...Folk leaning forward to see over the circle front bar.

Changes for the current production:
Rows A, B, H and J, plus the aisle seats in C and D are cheapest in the venue, and about fairly priced. The singles with extra legroom at the ends of row B are a bargain, and the monkey would even go for the ends of C and D just to be able to put a leg into the aisle, too.

For a central view at the price, you may as well take central B and H first over the more expensive C behind / G in front. Cramped, though... Be aware that depending where the stage goes, those in A and B may miss more of the front of it than those in H. The monkey will update as available.

Reader Comments:
"A16: "In A Forest Dark And Deep" (March 2011). Was alright, if a bit restricted due to the bar. However at least the bar was not directly cutting through the stage as it would the rest of the front row. It kind of raises higher, and with some good head tilting you can see the whole stage clearly through this gap."

"B14 and 15: "Dead Funny" (November 2016). We paid £20 per ticket through GILT (annual offer - editor) offer. I'm 6ft (1.8m) tall and didn't really have much leg room but it was tolerable. I had a good view of the stage except for when the person in front of me lent forward or when the actors were at the front of the stage which is when the safety rail inconvenienced my view. Overall good seats for the price I felt."

"D16: "Hand to God" (February 2016). The seat seems distant from the stage, but the view was clear and cast very easy to hear. Even at that distance, the small expressions of the puppets were easy to see. So, if the seat it is on offer, it may be worth it."

"E8: "Boys in the Band" (February 2017). Bargain at £10 through GILT offer. Nice clear view, and didn't seem too far away from the action."

"H1: "The Duck House" (November 2013), (Taljaard). Not too high and a clear view, no bars in the way. Could have done with a little more legroom but otherwise not a bad seat at all."

"J9: "The Prisoner Of Second Avenue" (June 2010). (Taljaard – regular reader). Felt a bit distant, but could hear every word."



Total 700 seats.

Air-conditioned auditorium.

Hearing aid loop - Infra-red headsets available, system by Williams Sound. Patrons should ask at the Stalls Bar / Concession counter which is located to the left of box office. There is no deposit required at this time, though patrons are required to leave a name, address and phone number as a security against loss of the equipment. It should also be noted that they have a limited number of headsets and they are therefore subject to availability. An ATT Major stair climber is available take wheelchair users down to the stalls, where space can be made replacing seat M1. Please arrive at least 45 minutes before the show to use this equipment. No adapted toilet on site - there is an arrangement to share the one nearby in the Adelphi Theatre. Guide dogs can stay in the theatre and watch the show though. Fuller details from Nimax Theatres on 0844 482 9677 (10am to 6pm, Monday to Friday) or email access(insert the @ symbol here) A "venue access guide" from the team who created book "Theatremonkey: A Guide to London's West End," is available to download in PDF format by clicking here.

No food except Ice cream and confectionery.

Three bars; Foyer, Dress Circle and Upper Circle.

5 Toilets; Stalls 1 gents no cubicles, 1 ladies 6 cubicles; Dress Circle 1 gents 2 cubicles; Upper Circle 1 gents 1 cubicle, 1 ladies 2 cubicles.

American visitors in particular should note that this theatre does not actually stage vaudeville acts, despite its name. It is known for plays. The name came from a long previous incarnation. 

Since Theatremonkey has the privilege of owning the site he wants to record that he finds the staff in this theatre are among friendliest in the West End. For encouraging this young monkey as a teenager by putting the best value tickets his way, and making him feel at home in the auditorium, thank you all.


Top Performance Times Ticket Prices Where to Buy Tickets  Seating Plan Seat Opinions Getting Here

Getting to this Theatre
Find this theatre on a Street Map
Nearest Underground Station Buses Car Park
Nearest Underground Station:
Charing Cross - Bakerloo (brown) and Northern (black) lines. Also Main rail network terminus.

For mobility impaired audience members, the Society of London Theatre provide a "photo map" - illustrated walking route to this venue from a near landmark and also Waterloo Station (the nearest fully accessible station) on their website, via the theatre's listing page on that site.

Leave the station by following signs from the platforms to the STRAND street exits. Walk straight ahead into the underground shopping arcade and keep going straight on into the light. If, underground, you pass Davenports Magic shop, turn around and walk the other way.

Take the left-hand staircase up to street level. In front of you is a very busy road, the Strand. Brook Street Employment Agency must be on your right as you face the road.

If you see a sidestreet, with Brook Street Employment Agency on your left, turn around and walk towards the busy road instead - you took the wrong stairs.

Turn to your right and walk past Brook Street Employment Agency, keep walking towards the pedestrian crossing. The theatre is on the other side of the road, past the Adelphi Theatre. The neon sign above the door, showing the play title is clearly visible as you walk.

If you pass the main station and see a large space full of taxis, you are going the wrong way. Turn around and head for Brook Street Employment Agency.


6, 9, 11, 13, 15, 30, 77A, 176. All stop outside the theatre.


A rank for Black taxis is at Charing Cross Station - a short distance from the theatre. Best chance of hailing one is in the street outside.


Car Park:
Trafalgar Square Spring Gardens.

From the car park, turn up the road on the left to bring you on to Trafalgar Square. Face Nelson's Column and turn to your right. Cross Whitehall and Northumberland Avenue (you'll pass a branch of Tesco and a bookshop), and walk on towards Charing Cross Station, passing more shops on the way.

Once past Charing Cross station forecourt, cross at the next pedestrian crossing. The theatre is on the other side of the road, past the Adelphi Theatre. The neon sign above the door, showing the play title is clearly visible as you walk.

The "Theatreland Parking Scheme" may be available. Call Q-Park car parks on 0870 442 0104 or see for details. At this car park, parking under the "Theatreland Parking Scheme" allows a 50% discount in cost. Spaces CANNOT be reserved at these prices, so choose whether you would prefer to book and pay more, or use this scheme.

If you choose the "Theatreland Parking Scheme", you must get your car park ticket validated at the theatre's box office counter (the theatre attendant will insert the car parking ticket into a small machine which updates the information held on the magnetic strip on the reverse, thus enabling the discount). When you pay using the machines at the car park, 50% will be deducted from the full tariff. You may park for up to 4 hours after 12 noon, using this scheme and it is endorsed by the Society of London Theatre.

For a full list of car parks and theatres that participate in the 50% off theatreland scheme see


Top Performance Times Ticket Prices Where to Buy Tickets  Seating Plan Seat Opinions Getting Here







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