Buying Tickets Online:	Other Box Office Information
Tickets offered differ between outlets. Outlets also may offer different seats via their phone and online systems. Offers may be available click here.

Theatre Box Office: www.delfontmackintosh.co.uk provide their own service for this theatre. Booking fees per ticket for online bookings: £1.75. This covers the cost of compulsory background checks, thinks the monkey. No booking fee is charged on "premium" tickets bought via the theatre booking line. Other Online Choices (with S.T.A.R. genuine ticket agencies): www.ticketmaster.co.uk £58 seats attract a £4.70 fee (£4 on £49, £3.20 on £39, £2.40 on £29.50 seats)...AND...an extra £2.25 per booking (not per ticket) service charge is also made, for performances until 27th March 2010. From 29th March 2010, £62.50 seats attract a £5 fee (£4 on £50, £3.20 on £40, £2.40 on £30 seats)...AND...an extra £2.75 per booking (not per ticket) service charge is also made. If you use this method, be aware that the computer offers tickets at random. If you are unhappy with its choice, keep re-selecting using the "Back" button on your browser, NOT the "reselect button" on the page, until you get tickets you consider worthwhile. Note that the tickets offered may differ between phone and online sources. When the theatre does not have the tickets you desire available, it is well worth trying the Theatremonkey Ticketshop agency, which offers £58 tickets with a £5.80 per seat booking fee for performances until 27th March 2010 / £9 on £62.50 seats from 29th March 2010 onwards - moderate by agency standards, though higher than box office fees, worth trying as they often have a choice of seats available! Simply select the show from the "drop down" menu in the centre of the page. Note that this system will confirm exact seat numbers prior to purchase. Another alternative is www.seetickets.com / telephone 0870 830 0200 which offers seats with a £3.50 per ticket booking fee and £1.60 per booking (not per ticket) postal charge for performances until 27th March 2010. (FREE call if using BT.com Calling Plan at your chosen times). Encore Tickets offer £58 seats with a £14.50 booking fee per ticket (£12 on £49, £7 on £30 seats) for performances until 27th March 2010, £15.50 on £62.50, £12.50 on £50, £7.50 on £30 seats from 29th March 2010, plus optional UK postage of £1.50 per booking, not per ticket, available if time allows. Meal and show packages may also be available. Quality and Value hotel / theatre ticket packages are also available. Other Independent S.T.A.R. ticket agencies may also offer an alternative choice of seats.

Box Office Information:

Tickets offered differ between outlets. Outlets also may offer different seats via their phone and online systems. Offers may be available click here.

Theatre Box Office: Telephone: 0844 482 5115 (020 7812 7498 if you cannot use the 0844 number) Operated by Delfont-Mackintosh Theatres. At busy times / outside working hours - 9am to 8pm, See Tickets may answer on behalf of the venue. Booking fees per ticket for telephone bookings: £1.75. This covers the cost of compulsory background checks, thinks the monkey. No booking fee is charged on "premium" tickets bought via the theatre booking line. For personal callers or by post: Coventry Street, London. W1D 6AS No booking fee for personal callers. By post the usual £1.75 per ticket booking fee applies. Special Access Needs Customers: Wheelchair users and other registered disabled theatregoers can book their seats on 0844 482 5137 and enquire about concessionary prices that may be available to them. The wheelchair users line connects directly to the Delfont-Mackintosh Theatre Group Helpline in London. See Notes. www.delfontmackintosh.co.uk is the official theatre website. www.mamma-mia.com is the official show website. Booking is through Delfont-Mackintosh.com as above.

Top

Performance Times

Ticket Prices

Where to Buy Tickets

Seating Plan

Seat Opinions

Getting Here

Theatre Seat Opinions:

Please remember that cheaper seats often do not offer the same view / location quality as top price ones, and that ticket prices are designed to reflect this difference. Pictured: New Prince of Wales Auditorium  Copyright: Cameron Mackintosh Ltd  The theatre is actually much more beautiful than this "artist's impression". Sir Cameron Mackintosh has really excelled himself with the transformation - the monkey salutes him and the team who designed and constructed the venue, which resembles the interior of a very plush ocean liner - welcoming and comfortable. Visitor opinions are most welcome - contact us.  Arrive early to look at the foyers. A fabulous sculpture of the theatre is in the main entrance hall - commemorating the re-opening. Scattered around the rest of the public areas are posters of previous successful shows and art-deco mirrors and sculptures, all worth a look. Foyers open at 6.45pm for evening performances.

Seating Plan Diagram

Stalls

Dress Circle

Notes

STALLS  The stalls has a large central block of seats, with two smaller "islands" about half way back. These "islands" are cut off from the central block by aisles.  The Dress Circle overhangs the stalls at row E. It begins to remove the top of the stage at row N, and by row T, around three fifths of the stage are not visible - the top revolve in particular is missed. The rake becomes noticeable at row H, and is nicely steep from there to the back of the auditorium. Seats are also quite well "staggered" to enable those in the rear rows to see around others in front of them. Rows A to G wrap very snugly around the front of the stage. Row A is at about nose level to the stage for those over 5ft 5, estimates the monkey. The stage slopes towards the audience, so that nothing is missed for those seated here, and neck ache isn't a problem for any but the shortest.  The centre of row A has been removed to allow a keyboard player a space to play. The player is below the level of the row, but purists may want to avoid row A seats 24 to 28, and row B seats 23 to 27 just to be safe. Reader Jazz feels of A28: " the view is great, you really get to see the emotion, the expressions. Like it a lot, and being short I don't risk a taller person sitting in front of me". Another reader comments that when the set rises from the stage at one point, those in row A get neck-ache. As the monkey says - only purists will want to avoid this seat, the rest will have a lot of fun here! Row A is second price, and a way of getting nearer the front more cheaply. The monkey goes for 17 to 23 and 29 to 34 in this row. A reader comments: "We were in row D 9 to 17. The view was fantastic and the seats were very comfortable - it was good to see the expressions on the faces of the cast. No neck ache in these rows despite being 4 rows from the front.  There was a hen party in the first row (A) and throughout the show they put the smoke machine on and it completely covered them all in row A they couldn't see a thing !! It went back as far as row B/C but we were lucky in Row D. You couldn't see them in row A with the smoke !! So row A is not a good bet for this show!!"  Another reader in D says, "Seat opinion - Stalls D17 and D18 - very close to the action and you can see faces and expressions etc but I think two or three rows further back might have been better." The monkey felt that prime seats in the central block are in rows E to J, numbers 15 to 33. It would take F first, then E or G, then H and J.  Reader Richard Bradbury affirms, "Sat in seats H 19, 20  and 21 in the stalls. Excellent seats - I doubt you would get a better view in all of the stalls." Beyond this it would pick, in the central block seats, rows D or K first, then C, then L back in alphabetical order. It would, though, pick the central block of the Dress Circle, rows A to D (with a few exceptions) over the stalls, for it's own preference. A few seats in the centre of rows F and G are "premium" priced. Your call if you wish to pay extra, the monkey feels. Worth knowing about are the ends of rows A to G. Top price, but slivers of the edge of the stage are missing for those in the first few seats. Many won't find that a problem, as the action takes place centrally, but the monkey felt it worth highlighting. In rows O to S the overhang is noticeable, though the ceiling above is stunning to look at. Not much stage action is missed here, but you could still do better in the monkey opinion. The nice folks at Mamma Mia's production office have taken this into account for rows O to S. Monkey opinion is that O is fair value, P expensive at top price. A sound desk may disturb a few in P21 to 28, but most may not notice and might like these seats too. During the week, too, when cheaper, rows R and S are also acceptable at lower prices, though before accepting any seat in rows P to S, go for row H in the Dress Circle instead - this row is the same price, but with a better view in the monkey opinion! Until 25th April 2009, row T is "average" value - again, Dress Circle seats for the same price in rows K and L edge row T stalls for view for the same money during the week. On Saturdays, stick with T if you don't wish to pay any more for the back of the circle... monkey wouldn't. From 27th April 2009, at second price, monkey feeling is try the Circle for view. S21 and T29 are cheaper next to the sound desk, and not a bad bet. Apparently the whole of stalls row T was reduced in honour of the sound desk (the monkey mistakenly thought it was due to being the back row and having an overhang). As the theatre point out, it is only S 21 and T seats 20 and 29 that really suffer badly - and leaning out or around fixes that problem. Until 25th April 2009, S21 is not cheaper due to the corner of the sound desk intruding into your view...your call, feels the monkey. Rows R seats 21 and 28 and S 28 and row P 21 to 28 might want to be avoided by total purists who dislike any form of intrusion into their evening, but for everyone else it may well not be an issue. Reader "Lizzie Loves the Theatre" reports of her seats: " (they were) right at side of sound box but no problem and plenty of room to get up and have a jig about as only one row behind us." And opines generally that, "all the stalls seats seemed to be pretty good for views." Row T seats 38 and 39 can be removed for a wheelchair user. Take these before the other wheelchair spaces in row S seats 39 to 45, feels the monkey. See Notes. Reader Barry Liimakka gives another thorough run-down of seating: "We've experienced Mama Mia from many different vantage points. As TM suggests, Stalls L10/11 are wonderful seats providing good vantage and good acoustics & one need only sit back and take it all in. Likewise TM correctly cautions about Stalls D9 which is a stage left seat in a musical which tends to run stage right. Thus one feels a bit removed from the action at times. Sight lines are sometimes obscured by ensemble cast as well. Be forewarned about proximity to the speakers. You'll adjust during the performance, but during the encore numbers, the volume is all the way up and your eardrums will pop. Our favourite seats were Stalls B 33/34. These seats are mesmerizing as the actors are so close and you feel the energy of the performance in an entirely different manner. Act II's dream scene is surreal as fog wafts off of the stage onto your lap. It's from these seats that we discover the powerful chemistry between Ms. Parry and Ragavelas during the wedding gown scene." Moving on to the side blocks. These are a real mixture, feels the monkey. Oddly, the further back you go, the better the overall view of the stage. Claustrophobics should also note that there is no aisle at the extreme ends of the rows. The good news is that the theatre has re-priced almost every seat in the section. Row J has the most legroom, but the first and last two seats in the row have a commanding view of the wall in front, alas, and the next few seats along don't see the rear corners of the stage either - at one point on one side you miss a boat too. Seats J 2, 3, 4, 43 and 44 and K 2, 3, 45 and 46 have been reduced in price to allow for this problem...the monkey still says avoid - it is worth paying the extra few pounds for a much better view, in its opinion. Moving backwards, Until 25th April 2009 on weekdays, the monkey rates all seats fair value except the "restricted view" ones mentioned. On Saturday pricing, it would skip the furthest out "top price" seats, but the rest are also fair again, it feels. At top price in rows K to N things are adequate - a full view of the stage. As you move towards the edges of the venue, though, the view diminishes rather noticeably for a top price seat. The boxes overhang, too, and the monkey would take cheaper seats in the Dress Circle before sitting here. From 27th April 2009, monkey feeling is to avoid top price J 4 to 9 and 38 to 42 except if legroom is required. Similarly seats more than four off the aisle in K to M - there are better seats for the same top price, it feels. Row S 39 to 46 has a corridor leading to the foyer exit behind it - not a distraction, but something to know, felt the monkey. Legroom is comfortable for all but the very tallest in most seats - best in row J 3 to 13 and 34 to 44 which have aisles in front. Row A seats 14 to 16 and 35 to 37 have less legroom due to the curve of the auditorium - those over 5ft 8 may well be uncomfortable here - row A seats 22 to 24 and 28 to 30 have somewhat more generous space. Row K seat 2 also has a space in front of it, but a poor view - one for a tall, non-Abba fan, to consider, perhaps! All the seats are a little wider than other theatre seats too, which should mean slightly more comfortable accommodation for many.    DRESS CIRCLE  This is split into three blocks by two central aisles. Double height bars protect the ends of all aisles. The box office do feel the rear circle can seem a little steep, so the very nervous may like the stalls better - everyone else should be very happy here, though. At the sides of the theatre, these bars are well to the side of anyone's vision, and won't intrude. In the central aisles, the monkey originally felt their presence will probably deeply annoy those seated either side of the aisles in rows A to F. Seats A 15, 16, 31, 32 particularly. Reader Janet Morris, who sat in A16 felt, however, that the monkey is being over-cautious: "My husband bought us tickets earlier this year, we hoped they may have been reduced but he ended up paying £49 each. You can imagine my horror when one of the seats came up as RED on your seating plan, circle A16 but I had no need to worry the seats were fantastic." Since then, other readers felt the same - as do the venue - and the monkey will be re-checking them... meanwhile, based on feedback, ratings have been raised accordingly. A good rake ensures a good view for most of the rest of the centre block. Very small people may just have a problem seeing over the bar in row A, as it overhangs inwards slightly, but other adults will find the low front wall and unhindered sightlines a refreshing change. Amusingly, the overhang of the bar made the monkey feel it had been "tucked in" for the performance! All the way back to row F are some of the finest views to be had in this theatre, feels the monkey. Rows G and H are very fair value too - the stage seems close from them, and the lack of overhang allows you to see all of it. H 13 to 33 are notable value in the monkey book - take these before stalls P for the same price. A few seats in the centre of rows A and B are "premium" priced - your call if you want to pay a little more, feels the monkey. A reader comments: "Dress circle seats B28 - 29 - brilliant view and comfortable too !" Reader Jenny opines, "Our seats were circle row D 15/16 and the safety bar on the circle edge didn't bother me and I am only 5' 2" tall, so no probs whatsoever, although the comment about the rake of the seating is true, the one thing you can't do in the circle seats, even if you are on the end of the row, is get up and dance at the end - next time I will sit in the stalls!" Beside them, another reader adds, "D 18 and 19 had a perfect view of the stage." Reader Mila reports, "Row F seats 31 to 35 were excellent seats. We had a great view of the stage and the Circle has a good rake so out three nine-year-old kids were able to see perfectly." While another says, "We were in Circle Row G15 and 16 - very good as reviewed on this site (thank you Monkey). The sound wasn’t balanced well at first, and the banker Dad was so soft you could barely hear him speak, but OK when singing. Worth mentioning again, the very steep rake of the Circle. Don’t wear platform shoes! I didn’t see anyone walk down facing forward. They all turned sideways. Ladies wearing high heels were the most nervous of all. However, I reiterate other comments that the new seating is very good and comfortable, and legroom, at least where we sat, good." In H, another reader comments, "H 19, 20, 21, 22: Although I personally wouldn’t normally choose to sit this far back I was pleasantly surprised at the amazing view of the stage. I could see loads of detail and the sound was very good as well. In addition, the very steep rake of the seating (not great for high heeled shoe lovers) ensures clear views over heads in front of you. In terms of sightlines, this must be one of the best Dress Circles in the West End. The view from there front few rows must be even better. The Dress Circle bar is also wonderful with loads of room." Behind these, centre blocks rows J to L are attractively priced too (except on Saturdays until 25th April 2009) when top price back to row K feels a little high, and second price for L only fair-ish. From 27th April 2009, on Saturdays central K drops to second price - much better value. While a little further away, the monkey feels that it reflects the view very well indeed, and it would pick these over some of the top priced seats in the rear stalls, for it's own tastes, as it can see the whole stage without an overhang intruding. The side blocks of the circle are also well focused on the stage. The first and last few seats in each row do miss a sliver of action at the extreme edges of the stage - like the front stalls, though, the monkey mentions this more for information than the detraction from enjoyment. Those seeking a full view should avoid these seats of course, for the rest, many will tolerate them - and you get a nice discount in some seats to make up for it anyway. Still, try for the centre block for the same money, is the advice. Claustrophobics should also be aware that from row F back, there is no aisle at the extreme ends of rows. Rows K and L at the sides feel a bit "shelf like" to the monkey. Seats L9 to 11, 35 and 36 do become good value by way of a huge price drop, the monkey judges. Reader Pip comments, "We sat in Row L seats 7 to 11. Being the very back row, the theatre has been built in such a way you can see everything like you were in the stalls! Every detail is perfect. Plus these seats are cheap and you feel almost in the middle! I would get them, very comfortable and lots of leg room. No need to worry about tall people in here!" The new, higher backed seats mean that legroom is improved as much through posture as actual space. Interestingly, row A has the most legroom here, and B to G are acceptable to all but the tallest, feels the monkey. Row E seat 3 also has more legroom with an aisle in front, but the boxes affect the view from it. From row H back, though, it gets much tighter, and the tallest would probably find the side block seats of rows K and L particularly uncomfortable. Monkey also notes that the modern seats here are flat backed. This precludes stretching spaces between them for the taller jungle dweller.   Dress Circle Boxes (called Loges in this theatre) At the sides of the stage, these form four fabulous architectural features. Shining bars in front of them lend a streamlined look, in keeping with the "liner" theme.  In all boxes, seating consists of one upright chair (seat 4) and three comfortable, but low, saloon armchairs with "U" shaped backs and armrests. Boxes 1 and 3 are tagged onto the side of the Dress Circle, between the edge of it, and the stage. Again, The view is poor if you don't lean forwards - about three fifths of the stage visible without that lean, and legroom isn't great without upsetting your sightlines still further. Just about fair value for the view in the opinion of the producers... and the monkey about agrees with them if there are none of the great seats at the back of the circle available. At Saturday performances, these revert to 3rd price - reflecting the fact you have a private box (according to producers). The monkey isn't that keen on the view for the money, but accepts that privacy is worth paying for if you prefer to observe rather than participate when the crowd gets as enthusiastic as it usually does during this show. Boxes 2 and 4 are VERY high up above the stage on an extremely narrow shelf - vertigo sufferers should REALLY avoid these - particularly seat 1 at the front, at all costs. The view is poor if you don't lean forwards - about a third of the stage visible without that lean, and legroom isn't great without pushing your chair back - which upsets your sightlines. At all performances except Saturday Evenings and Saturday afternoons these are just about fair value for the view in the opinion of the producers... and the monkey about agrees with them if there are none of the great seats at the back of the circle available EXCEPT if you are a vertigo sufferer, in which case avoid at all costs. At weekend performances, these revert to 3rd price - reflecting the fact you have a private box (according to producers). The monkey again isn't that keen on the view for the money, but also notes the privacy advantage. Boxes are only sold to personal callers at the theatre so that all issues of height and view can be fully understood prior to purchase - laudable, feels the monkey.   Notes Total seats 1,125 for the current production. Theatre is air-conditioned. Hearing loop system available. Guide dogs can be dogsat. Wheelchair access is via the main foyer (automatic doors, controlled either by bell push on wall to the right as you face the theatre, or from the box office counter). Level access to the auditorium. Wheelchair spaces in row S are fitted with movable flooring to provide level space, regardless of the theatre's usual sloped floor - amazing, feels the monkey. Transfer is also available to seats C37 and 38, with a cubby-hole nearby for wheelchair storage. Large unisex adapted toilet in stalls bar - a lift takes users downstairs to it.   The "registered disabled" concessionary price policy here is generally (though can be subject to change) for a quota of accessible best seats to be made available at the lowest regular price charged. This quota is increased for designated performances such as signed / audio interpreted. Check with the box office at time of booking. Fuller access details from  theatre group dedicated phoneline on 0844 482 5137, www.theatre-access.co.uk or Artsline on 020 7388 2227  e-mail artsline@dircon.co.uk. A "venue access guide" from the team who created book "Theatremonkey, A Guide to London's West End," is available to download in PDF format by clicking here. Ice cream and confectionery in auditorium, Bar snacks also available. Free Cloakroom on the lower floor for coats and baggage. Two bars both huge and beautifully equipped. One below the Stalls, called the "Delfont", one in the Dress Circle called the "American." The "Delfont" has a huge range of drinks available, plus a stage where live entertainment could take place after the show. The "American" has floor to ceiling windows providing a novel view of the street below. Both have TV screens for latecomers to watch the show while waiting to be shown to thier seats. 4 toilets; Stalls (off the Delfont Bar) 1 gents 3 cubicles, 1 ladies 13 cubicles; 1 unisex adapted disabled; Dress Circle (in the American Bar area) 1 gents 1 cubicle, 1 ladies 4 cubicles.

Top

Performance Times

Ticket Prices

Where to Buy Tickets

Seating Plan

Seat Opinions

Getting Here

Getting to this Theatre

Find this theatre on a Street Map

Nearest Underground Station

Buses

Car Park

Nearest Underground Station: Piccadilly Circus - Piccadilly (Dark Blue) and Bakerloo (Brown) lines. Plan your tube journey to this station using the button below: The escalator from the platforms ends in a large circular underground area.  After leaving the barriers, turn to your left, and follow the curve of the barriers around until you see an exit to your right with the sign "Subway 4" over it. Walk under this sign. Walk through this tunnel and take the first staircase to your right, marked "Shaftesbury Avenue".  Take the stairs up to the street. At the top, look ahead and to your the right. The huge corner billboard the length of the building at first floor level is the Prince of Wales Theatre.  Walk towards it, going past the Trocadero Centre doors. Use the second set of traffic lights to cross the road to the theatre. If you cross at the first crossing, you will have a detour around barriers in order to get to the theatre!

Buses: 14,19,22 and 38 to Coventry Street. Get off at the Trocadero Centre. Look ahead to the right. The huge corner billboard the length of the building at first floor level is the Prince of Wales Theatre. Use the next pedestrian crossing to get back to the correct side of the road, pass TGI Fridays red and white adorned restaurant, cross Oxendon Street and voila!

Car Park: Whitcomb Street. Leave the car park, turn left and walk uphill, crossing Panton Street and Whitcomb Court. Keep going straight on until you come to Coventry Street in front of you. Turn to your left, the theatre is a few paces away on your left. Do not cross the road or pass McDonalds. Wrong way. Call Westminster City Council car parks on 0800 243 348 or see www.westminster.gov.uk/carparks for details. Parking under the "Theatreland Parking Scheme" allows a 50% discount in cost. Spaces CANNOT be reserved at these prices, so choose whether you would prefer to book and pay more, or use this scheme. If you choose the "Theatreland Parking Scheme", you must get your car park ticket validated at the theatre's box office counter (the theatre attendant will insert the car parking ticket into a small machine which updates the information held on the magnetic strip on the reverse, thus enabling the discount). When you pay using the machines at the car park, 50% will be deducted from the full tariff. You may park for up to 72 hours using this scheme and it is endorsed by the Society of London Theatre. For a full list of car parks that participate in the 50% off theatreland scheme here see www.westminster.gov.uk/carparks/theatreland.cfm, and for a full list of theatres that participate in the scheme see www.westminster.gov.uk/carparks/theatres.cfm.

Top

Performance Times

Ticket Prices

Where to Buy Tickets

Seating Plan

Seat Opinions

Getting Here

 

A medical view of the show... PMMS “It’s No Laughing Matter” Are you increasingly irritable, short-tempered and cranky? Do you suffer from anxiety, night sweats, compulsivity? Have you gained or lost substantial amounts of weight either before or after a certain West End show? Do you spend on theatre tickets beyond your means? Do you endlessly surf the Internet looking for the most trivial minutia relating to certain cast members? Could the West End be affecting your work and or home life? Researchers now say that a newly emerging field of consumer psychology has been accumulating some pretty strong evidence in favor of just such a syndrome now termed (Pre-Mamma Mia Syndrome or (PMMS). PMMS is the name of a group of symptoms that start 7 to 14 days before a performance. The symptoms usually stop soon after the show begins. Most fans feel some discomfort before Mamma Mia performances. But if you have PMMS, you may feel so anxious, depressed or uncomfortable that you can't cope at home or at work. Some of the symptoms of PMMS are listed below. Your symptoms may be worse some months and better others depending on the current cast. Symptoms of PMMS • Acne • Bloated abdomen • Constipation • Crying spells (before show) laughing spells (during show) • Depression • Fast heartbeat • Feeling hungry • Feeling irritable or tense • Feeling tired • Feeling anxious • Headache • Joint pain • Mood swings • Not feeling as interested in sex (before show) • Feeling too interested in sex (after show) • Tender and swollen breasts • Compulsion to buy Lycra undergarments (further exacerbating breast tenderness) • Trouble concentrating • Trouble sleeping • Swollen hands or feet • Wanting to be alone • Weight gain (weight gain may be more imagined than real due to the Lycra). What causes PMMS? No one knows for sure. But PMMS seems to be linked in part to changes in hormone levels in anticipation of upcoming shows. PMMS is not generally thought to be caused by stress or psychological problems, but rather the catharsis brought on by the hilarious, spontaneous, optimistic, wholesome ABBA overdose that comprises the Mamma Mia experience. How is PMMS diagnosed? Your doctor may ask you to keep track of your symptoms on a calendar (measured from Friday matinee’s). If your symptoms follow the same pattern each month, you may have PMMS. Your doctor may also want to examine you and do some tests to rule out other problems. Some other syndromes emerging in the West End are: 1. SOMNNAGAMM (Sound Of Music Not Nearly As Good As Mamma Mia). 2. WICMRWMMTEH (Wicked Is Crap Must Replace With Mamma Mia To Eliminate Halitosis [Bad Taste In Mouth]). 3. BBSIGBNMMMTMDE (Blood Brothers Is Great But Need Multiple Mamma Mia’s To Mitigate Depressive Effect). 4. LIIDTDYMKS (Laughter-Induced Incontinence Due To Does Your Mother Know Scene). 5. DIHDDQS (Donna-Induced Hernia During Dancing Queen Scene). 6. JIGBTDRMEMMH (Joseph Is Good But Too Disney Requiring More Earthy Mamma Mia Humor). Below are some common statements made by typical sufferers: 1. “I've been cheated by you since I don't know when” (paranoia) 2. “I don't know how but I suddenly lose control” (post-show promiscuity, impulsivity) 3. “Just one look and I can hear a bell ring” (auditory hallucinations) 4. “Theres a fire within my soul” (hot flushes) 5. “One more look and I forget everything, o-o-o-oh” (Hysterical amnesia) 6. “Mamma Mia, here I go again” (OCD or Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (repeat ticket purchases]) 7. “When you’re gone How can I even try to go on? When you’re gone Though I try how can I carry on?” (feelings of loss during cast changes, or worse, the show being cancelled (thought to be irrational, as the show shows no sign of ever being cancelled). 8. “You seem so far away though you are standing near” (Hysterical far-sightedness [thought to be related to hysterical blindness]). 9. “If you change your mind, I'm the first in line, Honey I'm still free, “Take a chance on me” (excessive and unhealthy neediness often associated with co-dependency” [also known as the Bill and Hillary Clinton syndrome]). 10. “Ba ba ba ba baa, ba ba ba ba baa” (Incoherent speech in the presence of cast members). 11. “Chiquitita, you and I cry, But the sun is still in the sky and shining above you” (Bipolar or manic-depressive [elated one moment, depressed the next]) 12. “Sometimes I wish that I could freeze the picture, And save it from the funny tricks of time, Slipping through my fingers...” (romanticizing the past with an inability to appreciate the present) 13. “You come in to look for a king” (Unrealistic expectations about men [knight in shining armour syndrome]) 14. “Anybody could be that guy” (Low self-esteem and hence, unrealistically low expectations for men) 15. “Knowing me, knowing you, There is nothing we can do” (Mind reading, fatalistic, overly dramatic [results from poor communication skills]) 16. “I've been so lucky, I am the girl with golden hair” (“Blonds have more fun” syndrome [usually suffered by brunettes]) 17. “One of us is crying” (persecution complex) “One of us is lying” (paranoia) 18. “In her lonely bed” (nymphomania) 19. “Super trouper beams are gonna blind me, But I wont feel blue, Like I always do” (PMMS mixed with SAD [Seasonal Affective disorder]), Usually treatable with full-spectrum lights and two matinees. 20. “I dont wanna talk, About the things we've gone through, Though its hurting me, Now its history, I've played all my cards, And that's what you've done too. Nothing more to say, No more ace to play” (Hopelessness brought on by compulsive gambling [a very debilitating mix]). How is PMMS treated? There is no cure for PMMS, but eating a healthy diet, exercising regularly and taking medicine may help. Doctors say that for now, the only reliable way to control the most severe symptoms is to save your money and keep going with protective undergarments for the “Does Your Mother Know” and Dancing Queen scenes. A trust fund has been established by “The Society for Dancing Queens” to treat the most needy cases. If you believe you may be afflicted with this debilitating condition, please contact: The Center for the Reduction of Jubilation, just off Leicester Square, Care of Dr. Killjoy, 334 Coventry Street, Westminster, London, W1C 6AX In an attempt to wean the most stubborn addicts off the show, a controlled trial will begin in the Spring of 2008. Treatment will involve attending progressively worse shows beginning with shows of acceptable quality and then progressing to the very worst shows that should have already been closed. • Minors may also be admitted to the trial on a case-by-case basis contingent on completing the “Does your Mother Know” consent form. ______________________________________________ About the Authors: Doctors T and G Winey are freelance medical journalists and have written for such publications as: 1. The Royal Academy of Abdominal Hilarity 2. The American Urological Society for the study of Laughter-Induced Incontinence...

EXTRA EVENTS:

"Late Night Cabaret" in the Delfont Room at the Prince Of Wales Theatre

The intimate surrounding of the fabulously restored Delfont Bar is the ideal venue for this unique and memorable evening of cabaret.

This exciting series of late night cabarets will take place in the stylish surroundings of the fabulously restored Delfont Room, which is the ideal place to relax and watch some of the West End's most acclaimed stars and their special guests perform in an intimate and atmospheric environment.

Schedule:

Saturday 24th April 2010
The Verona Chard Band
Turning up the heat with a fantastic performance in the Delfont Room. This will be a performance you do not want to miss.


Late Night Cabarets take place in the Delfont Room at the Prince of Wales Theatre.

Doors open at 10.30pm, with the show at 11pm.

To book tickets (£25 tables and seating, £15 general admission) call the Box Office on 0844 482 5111 or visit www.delfontmackintosh.co.uk.
 

.