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(Reviewed at the Shaftesbury Theatre Preview performance on 14th September
2011. Some actors have now left the cast.)
Leaving the theatre, the monkey heard a group of 20-something women discussing
what they had seen, with one of their number declaring loudly that she’d just
had, “the best time ever” at the show. The two ladies beside it (30-somethings,
it’d guess) had earlier made similar comments as they gathered their coats to
leave, as had two 40-something men nearby.
It must, therefore, conclude that it simply is not the target audience for this
show. Age-wise it should be (the 80s were its era), but it spent them mostly
tuned into the greats that became golden of the Lloyd Webber / Mackintosh
period, with a little Madonna and Bangles thrown in. Whitesnake was something it
saw at the zoo, and the only familiarity it had with the songs that make up this
evening was the odd advertisement backing track and episodes of “Glee.”
All this background might explain why, for the first time ever, the monkey
wanted to leave a show after the first 20 minutes. Before it goes any further,
it wants to make clear that the entire cast and crew were totally blameless in
generating this feeling. The show has such excellent sound design that dialogue
was clear even over the loudest music (and this show gets so loud the monkey’s
ears still hurt - badly - almost 24 hours later, writing this), intelligent
‘period’ lighting, an atmospheric set extending into the auditorium, and
satisfying costume design.
Even better, leads Oliver Thompsett and substitute (Amy Pemberton being away)
Natalie Andreou are (to coin an 80s song title) “Gold.” Thompsett of course, as
the show notes late on, has years of West End star experience. Andreou isn’t
known – but should be, and soon. A leading lady who producers should be falling
over themselves to sign to whichever musical takes her fancy.
Add to this magic pair’s chemistry (the only time the show passed quickly, and
the only moments to make monkey glad it stayed) a supporting cast and crew who
all deserve a script a million times better and to be constantly employed in
West End shows worthy of their talents, and it hopes readers are prepared for
what follows.
As a lifelong musical theatre fan and West End theatregoer who’ll give literally
anything a chance (Kabuki ‘Jesus Christ Superstar’ in Japanese, anybody?), and
one prepared to be bored, bemused or frustrated with a thousand shows on stage,
DVD and CD, it really wasn’t prepared for “Rock Of Ages” to be the first show
it’s ever actually, genuinely, hated.
The first musical where it didn’t actually want to hear another song
(beautifully performed as they are), where it was left open-mouthed at the banal
story – that they try to pass off as ‘satire on musical theatre’ - rather than
the ill-paced mess that a narrator needs to wrap up for 10 excruciating minutes
before the audience is freed. The first musical where the writers didn’t even
attempt to adapt songs to drive plot or even heighten emotional moments. Not,
though, the first musical to mistake sub-playground crudity for adult
sophisticated wit in the script, however - which is even further to the show’s
detriment.
Still, there was one unique feature. Somebody (probably whoever was taking a
financial cut) decided that ushers roaming the aisle to sell beer during the
performance (even with the cast in mid-routine) were a good idea. Programme
buyers also got a duff battery operated ‘cigarette lighter’ which they were
encouraged to wave during ‘emotional’ moments of the show. In order to honestly
say it wished to have the complete experience, the monkey tried this… it didn’t
help, and others doing so just added to the distraction. Create a party
atmosphere? The monkey thought it would never start.
The closure of a West End show is always, always a terrible thing. Hundreds of
highly talented people are put out of work, and this show’s team are in the
highest league. Very sadly, though, the monkey felt that if (as likely) this
lasts longer than the (not half bad) musical “Flashdance” which was the last
musical to occupy the Shaftesbury… then there really is no justice in the
musical theatre world.*
Update: The thing has transferred! There really ain't not justice in the musical
theatre world...
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